After I slam the car door, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window. Then, in the midst of changing positions, I tell him to take a photo. We might text a few times in the next week or two, but only to schedule more sex. When I first met the man who is now my husband, neither of us expected anything beyond friendship and fun, despite our obvious attraction to each other. But we quickly developed a deep connection, and I fell hard and fast for him… which meant letting go of all seven of my sexual partners.
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My Open Marriage: Why I Love Having Sex with Other People
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Having Sex with Other People Makes My Husband and I Want Each Other More
Sex is purely a hormonal act, whereas love, as expressed in a hug, brings true intimacy. I pore over these articles, never quite trusting their advice, but still discussing them with my girlfriends ad infinitum. But is sex really about love, about connecting with your partner in some mysterious, profound way? I think the 20th century made the whole story up , and we bought it because it suited us.
In the act of sex we share space, our bodies, desires, expressions of pleasure and lust. Our capacity for lust — when desire burns in us and we are focused solely on the object of our desire — is molded by our experiences growing up, as is our capacity to love. Even though many people have the ability to feel both love and lust at the same time, you can usually lust after someone without necessarily feeling love for them, and vice versa.